Before I go more in-depth in this post, I am not writing about how I have anxiety. I am writing about how a person who doesn't suffer with it feels when their friends do and offer some advice on what they should do in those situations when it happens. Watching your friends go through panic attacks is not a nice experience for anyone involved, especially when you have no clue how to help someone you care about. So this post is just about how my friend and I worked through what I should do if they ever have one and how to react and I though I should share it as it might help someone else.
The first time it happened to me I felt utterly helpless. My friend told me they felt sick, they were anxious and I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know what I could do to help and I didn't like that feeling. They wouldn't eat, they didn't want a drink, they didn't want to sit or stand, it was all very confusing and worrying at the same time.
Thankfully it wasn't a major one and it was over within an hour and I got to ask questions about it without making my friend feel worse.
I only asked one question: What can I do to help?
For people who suffer with anxiety and panic attacks I'm sure this questions is just as hard to answer as it is for people who care about you to do the right thing.
My friend said to me they go through stages when they have panic attacks. Sometimes they just need a cuddle, sometimes they need to be left alone, sometimes they just need to stop. Whatever it is make sure you give them enough time to figure it out and to tell you. Patience is key otherwise you could make them worse.
Reassurance is the nest best thing. Sure you feel helpless and worried and want to do everything you can for the person you care about who is having a little freak out but you can't. You have to let it runs its course and be there through the whole thing.
So for me I find the best way to be/act are to do the following things;
Stay Calm - they aren't going to calm themslves if you are freaking out too.
Reassure - tell them you are there for anything they need and they just need to tell you what to do
Talk - if they don't tell you to leave try and take their mind off it, unless they tell you to shut up
Do What They Ask - if they need space take a few steps back, if they need a drink get them one etc.
Patience - they may not know what they want straight away, give them time.
Hopefully they will know what they need and can tell you but if not just follow what I've said and then take them somewhere they feel safe afterwards.
Do you have friends who suffer with anxiety and panic attacks? Let me know your best bits of advice in the comments below!
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